Debrief Info for families

The following pages are provided to resource you in receiving your students back home. Some of the information is directed to the family members and other parts of this information is directed to the students. We suggest that you print out these pages and re-read them several times to help you feel better equipped to help your student process the experience they have just had. We would also like to suggest that this printed material be handed to significant others so that many of your family are all working together to make the students growth and transition as smooth and possible. We have started the debriefing process aimed at helping prepare our students for some of the emotions and reactions that they most probably will experience in the coming days and weeks. It is a longer journey than we can hope to finish whilst away so we want to help you feel equiped to take up the supporting role that is needed at this time. It is our hope and prayer that you all enjoy the new person that is rejoining your home

Our hope in running this Philippines trip is to further equip these young people to became ‘extra-ordinary’ adults, and to grow a healthy ‘others’ mindedness. We also would like to assist families to pull together to share one another’s lives as we see this as vital in teaching all the children that move through Rehoboth Christian College.

Re-Entry Stress 
Definition:
                   Re-entry stress is like culture shock in many ways - only in reverse. While culture shock is associated with a sense of disorientation brought on by a new and unfamiliar environment, re-entry stress is precipitated by returning to a setting you presume to be familiar, but which in reality is no longer the same because you have changed.

It is the unexpected nature and subtlety of such change that will cause stress for your student. Your once familiar and comfortable environment no longer appears the same. Something definitely has changed. But you don't easily recognise just what has been altered.

Suddenly you find yourself out of phase with your own culture. Your reaction may come in the form of bewilderment, dismay, disillusionment and perhaps even irritation or anger. Somehow, "things are just not the way they used to be.", "nobody seems to care.", "nobody really understands.".

There are several contributing factors to re-entry stress. One is that you are being caught by surprise - you do not anticipate change and consequently are unprepared to cope. Another factor is value conflict. Your values, once taken for granted and even highly cherished, now seem of lesser significance or of little importance at all. Your way of thinking, your manner and your responses to many situations have been changing. Often these changes are not apparent until you are back in your own culture.

Common symptoms and effects of re-entry stress

1. Disorientation - feeling out of place, not fitting in

2. Feelings of loneliness, isolation, or being lost in the crowd

3. Restlessness - a desire to "get away" from those who don't seem to understand or care

4. Feeling that nobody understands your experience or that nobody cares

5. Feeling tired, listless

6. Critical attitude toward home country - its waste, extravagance, wrong way of doing things, etc.

7. Loss of identity - just "another cog in a big wheel"

8. Inability to communicate new ideas, concepts freely

9. Feeling of superiority - standing aloof from others because of your overseas experience

10. Feeling of dissatisfaction

11. Defensive in responses

12. Retreat, withdrawal, lack of concern

13. Unnatural, uncomfortable responses to "ordinary" situations

14. Confusion over conflicting attitudes and responses

15. Rejection of overseas experiences or a desire to forget and not talk about them

Basic Debriefing Tips for Family and Friends 

1. Listen, listen, and listen some more.
            Student  will have many emotionally laden stories to tell. The most loving response family and friends can have is to sit regularly, without time constraints, and listen until all the stories have been told (and re-told). One great way to spend time unpacking the trip for your student is to spend time with them over this blog and/or their Personal Journal. Move through day at a time, the stories will flow and will really help your student to feel heard and understood.


2. Expect the student to be a different person.
             Global experiences change a person. Encounters with poverty, a new culture, inability to communicate in an unknown language, and being an ethnic minority possibly for the first time will alter the way your student views and interacts with the world, including you and your family. Seek to discover the changes in your student and help him/her to make adjustments to living in Australia. Also allow the changes in your student to bring changes in your family, if your student has grown, then your family will have to grow to make it meaningful. Also your student may be experiencing grief at saying goodbye to people with whom they have connected.

3. Help the student find places to share his/her story.
               Encourage returning students to speak at gatherings and help them to make contact with churches, youth groups and any other groups that would be interested in hearing about their experience. If a student does not like to speak in public, encourage him/her to invite family and friends over for small gatherings where stories and pictures from the trip can be shared.

4. Help students in their church and youth groups for service by encouraging them to:
a. Learn more about the nation they have just visited as well as any other nation they have on their heart

b. Commit to giving financially a regular portion of what they earn (a regular and defined portion assist people to fit their personal changes into regular life without it being forgotten or producing a fanatic)

c. Consider planning the next year so that a similar trip can be taken soon

d. Study the Bible for, and lead Bible studies about, God’s heart for the nations

e. Mobilise fellow students and friends to consider giving time and money to international mission service.


Between Two Worlds: Returning Home 
            Dr. Miriam Adeney, a Christian anthropologist, tells her students that they "will never be able to go ‘home’ again. They will probably always leave part of themselves behind, and thereafter will be split. And home may be in more than one place. But that is the price they pay for the richness of having experienced more than one culture deeply."

Some suggestions for Christian Families:

1. Help your student to find other returnees (short-term volunteers, missionaries) with whom you can share and have fellowship.

2. Give your student time to readjust. Be patient.

3. Recognise and accept which transition stage your student is going through, and remember that "reverse culture shock" or "re-entry shock" is a normal part of the process of returning home.

4. Encourage your student to have a good sense of humor. Be aware, though, that your student could feel that you are laughing at him/her and the mission experience if you make too light of their experience or feelings.

5. Use this time of re-entry as a growing process for your family to learn about your student, the people group/culture in which your student served, and how you can continue to minister to the people group from home. Re-entry provides an opportunity for you and your family to become bi-cultural or multi-cultural people.

6. Express to your student what God has done in your life and your family's life during your student's time in another country. Possibly the changes God prompted were the result of your student serving internationally.

7. Help your student find opportunities to share the story of his/her international mission service. Examples of this can be a church service, Sunday School classes, or other groups.

8. Help your student learn to tell his or her story well. There are many tips to help people effectively tell their stories, please spend some time researching these.

9. Review the most significant changes that have occurred while your student was gone on mission. Talk through the events and changes, show pictures and videos of events, if possible, and discuss the implications of those events and changes on your student's future.

10. Talk with your student about his/her great expectations in returning home. How relevant and realistic are they? What are steps your student can take, and your family can take, to meet the realistic expectations?

11. Keep a clear perspective and remember that God is with you!

Conflicting Values 

Preoccupation with materialism
              Back in Australia, the desire for material comforts and possessions is a dominant theme. Are you prepared to face this fact if you are returning from a culture where people are content with little or have only the basic necessities of life? Has your sensitivity to basic human needs been heightened by your experiences abroad? What response might you have to affluence, waste or overindulgence?

Suggestions:

1. Do not be quick to condemn; realize that others have not had the same exposure to another way of life. Their preoccupation with "their world" as they know it is only natural.

2. Be prepared for a sensory bombardment if you are accustomed to simplicity in choice and lifestyle. An overabundance of goods, choices, etc. can overwhelm you at first.

3. Expect others to not fully understand how you feel when their "materialistic ways" strike you as sinful.

Doing things the "best" way
         This is often referred to as ethnocentrism. It's only natural that every culture values its ways. Is bigger, better, faster and more accurate really best? Do other cultures have something to offer us? Expect to receive blank stares or an air of disapproval from your compatriots if you question traditional ways.

Suggestions:

1. Be on the alert for a "holier-than-thou" attitude. Do not be too quick to judge others for their ethnocentric stance or to think that your way is the best way.

2. Share your perspectives, but at the same time avoid becoming involved in arguments . Do not allow yourself to withdraw or refuse to discuss matters because of opposition.

Personal worth and recognition
           Possibly one of the most difficult areas to address is personal fulfillment. Your questions may include: Was my service valuable? Will anyone recognize my contribution or my sacrifice? Will I be just another fish in a big pond? What will the situation be like upon my return? Quite likely you are returning from a position where you were the focus of attention, where you felt needed, accepted and loved.

Suggestions:

1. Do not expect to be in the limelight for long after your return. Some may ask to see your pictures, have you speak, etc., but soon you will be back to your "ordinary citizen" status.

2. Realize that your worth and recognition comes first from God. View your service as service to Him, not something with which to gain recognition and praise from others.

3. Do not allow yourself to feel hurt or sorry for yourself when people do not notice you or your service. God does. Look for ways to meet others' needs; this will help you take the focus off yourself (Phil. 2:3-4).

Day 11 : Liver Liver Chicken Dinner

Today we did our last trip out into the community as we ventured to one of the four trash mountains in Manila called San Mateo. We had the opportunity to hand out food packages to families in the village which we had personally raised the money for from our own spending money. We handed out 150 food packages to Mums and kids. It will feed these families for at least a week. While this was a confronting experience it was also so rewarding to see first hand how we can make a difference.

Later in the afternoon, we spent time together talking about how this experience has changed us and how we may have difficulty readjusting back into our lives once returning to Perth. We looked over everything we had managed to do in this short visit and are proud of the amount we have accomplished. No matter how small or big the act, we are still making a difference. God's plan is always accomplished whether we obey and get the experience or if he gets someone else to do it. We have been so blessed to get to know all different people while being over here and also each other.

As tonight was our final night in the Philippines, we went to do our last devotion at the children's home. One of the most challenging things on this trip is building relationships with people and then having to say goodbye. We consider these children our friends after this week.

On a more trivial note, tonight we had the opportunity to try Philippine street food, this included: chicken liver, chicken intestine, pig intestine, pig liver, pig ears, chicken feet, chicken heads and the famous balut (which is an 11 day old chicken cooked while still in the shell).

And then we had Yellow Cab pizza. Enough said.

Bought to you by Josh's Tent Flaps. Wait for the wind to blow.

Day 10 Shop till ya drop

Our second last day was a "clean" day. First we attended the church next door above Cuatro Cristian School. After this time of fellowship and praise and worship, we quickly got ready to head to the Greenhills markets to barter and buy things for our family and friends and our trip sponsors. It was all together a very different, but enjoyable cultural experience.

After the markets we visited "Chilli's", this is an American food chain that serves awesome burgers, mexican food and ribs....! Sadly there is not an outlet in Australia.

After dinner we were all pampered with massages and sauna time. Besides being a bit uncomfortable the massage felt amazing!



All in all today was a relaxing day as we prepare to come home, missing you all too!
Thank you for your continued prayer and support.

Day 9: Jazzing up the girl's home

We rose and shone at 7am, some at 7:20, ready for a beautiful breakfast of scrambled eggs, toast and bananas. Today consisted of intense construction, mixing a cement, building a septic tank and walls. Although we were exhausted from yesterday;s de-struction; today was the last full day of construction, so we gave it all we've got. During some of the digging, we discovered not only a nest of termites, but also a number of small (30 cm long) snake which Emily and Mr Ryall had fun catching.
The Filipino workers showed us tricks to building, it is so inspiring to see how hard working these people are. It is all MAN power, they have few machines like we do in Australia. Every bit of cement had to be mixed by hand and trust us when we say that they are extremely fast and effective.
As the construction jobs only required a limited amount of people, some of the team went into the children's home to play with the kids, blowing bubbles, receiving cuddles and for the first time heading up to the nursery to see the babies. One of the babies was born prematurely and thus is very small. Many oft he girls fell in love with the beautiful little treasures and were tempted to smuggle the one. We fell blessed to be a part of this, serving God's people, but what we realised was these people have blessed us so much more than we have blessed them. Living in such an affluent country , faith often comes as an 'option' to us, where as here, faith is what drives every day. Faith is necessary. Faith is real, faith can be felt.
The more we have the more we want , and we have so much stuff that we don't need, cluttering our lives, taking up space where Jesus could be instead. People here know that God is the center of all. A typhoon doesn't shatter faith. A lady lost 17 of her family members in Typhoon Haiyan and she said to one of the team at a recent feeding, "God is so faithful, you should never lose hope, it is all in his plan." Thy know that whether it may be time of abundant blessing or a time where things/people get taken away, the only stable thing is God's grace and God's grace is sufficient (which we witnessed in Miss Smoker's testimony today at the JAZ Home). After another fantastic meal for lunch, a number of the team took some time for a short siesta before returning to the job site. The lack of sleep, busy schedule and physical work is leaving many of us tired.

After returning to the Ministry center and eating dinner, we heard some stories from a group of people who had just returned from Tacloban. There were stories of devastation, survival, tragic death and reunions. It was great to hear that the city is on its way to rebuilding with a number for businesses reopening, food and water supplies returning. However they reminded us that there is a long way to go. It could take years for the rebuild to occur as many of the families do not have the funds to rebuild homes which were lost.

For devotions, we returned to the JAZ home, where Ben lead us in some songs and Miss Smoker shared some of her journey in life and faith. We then gave each of the girls a bag filled with lip gloss, nail polish, hair accessories, journals, pens, ... The girls were very excited to receive the gifts and look through what they were given. As it was our last night at the Jaz home, a number of the girls wanted to be able to contact some of the people in the team via e-mail or facebook and to get pitures. As you can imagine the boys were very popular, including Ben, Chris and Jesse. From there we went to Tay Tay a local shopping center and enjoyed Starbucks. As few cars were available tonight, we had to borrow a car with less seating so it was a squishy fit.

Today we leave you knowing that our lives have been touched by the resilience, love and faith of the Filipino people, Knowing that what we have done here might be a drop in a bucket, but God has made it "our" droop. And for now we can only pray and hope that the drops we made turns into an ocean. An ocean that impacts the lives of many.

Dear Mum, Dad and Angisha. Hope you're missing me and you're reading this! Having a great time, want to see you but want to stay longer. Hoping to see you soon. All the love. God Bless - Yande

Ello Dad, Tan, Sab and Zac. Having a great time. Missing everyone. Not long now! Haha Kiss Holly for me :) Lots of Love Abby xox

Day 8. No toe trucks today.

The day began in a quite unusual manner. At 7:15am, the song "Live my Life" began blaring through our windows as the Friday morning Zumba class began just  outside the ministry centre. On a day when we were hoping to have a bit of a sleep in, the music was not a welcome wake up call.
We all began the day with construction, but as a number of the gloves have been misplaced, some of the girls went into the Children's home to play with the young children and make them balloon animals. The group split and half of us went to do feeding in a place called Angon. After all the food was gone and we had made balloon animals for the kids, we wandered around the community for a while. In our walks we met many people and chatted to them, including a lady with  a baby of the age of 1 month. One of the most challenging things we have had to deal with during this trip is seeing children at such a young age suffering and knowing that our help for them is limited. When you talk to the people and get to know them, your heart goes out to them as you see them as individuals rather than just a group of people suffering and in need of help. This is the point in which you come to the realisation that our arms are only so big and we can only reach so many people in the time we are here. While it is devastating knowing we can't help everyone, the smile that lights up on a child's face after giving them a balloon animal or a pipe cleaner toy makes it a worth it. Even though we feel what we are doing is inadequate, these acts is what provides the people with hope because they see that we care.

After lunch we proceeded with the final stage of deconstruction in preparation for construction tomorrow. Knowing that this building is going to bless so many people provides an incentive for us to keep going even when we are tired, hot and dipping in sweat. God it definitely looking after us, as three of the boys at different times have trodden on nails, with the nails going through their shoe, but managing to miss their foot and instead going in between their toes. The great thing was that all of the boys acknowledged God's protection rather than luck.

As usual in the Philippines plans change rather frequently, so you couldn't expect any less when it came to our basketball game this afternoon. Rehoboth joined with the children's home while Cuatro Christian School joined with the community team to play a game of four 10 minute quarters. Overall it was a great game to watch but Cuatro and the community maintained their lead from the first half to take the win, with a score of 56.



After dinner, the devotion at the children's home was about creation and the yellow team used balloons and pipe cleaners to represent the seven days of creation. The team made the link between creation and that God makes each of us unique. We then read and/or played with the children before returning to the ministry centre.
Back at the ministry centre, we had a debrief and devotion, where Mr Price challenge us to consider whether we are struggling with temptation or giving in. This comes down to what we idolise in our life, but we have seen in the Philippines, how the people main propriety is life, not money or possessions.
A trip to Starbucks for a coffee was a fun way to end the day by spending time with the one another and enjoying the simple act of laughing.

Sorry for not writing a message for you guys sooner. I have been having a great time and miss you all a lot. - Luke

Parentals from my sincerest heart I sorrow for not saying that this trip is absolutely amazing and truly inspirational, but now it is done and I probs won't do it again. Ciao and love, Jesse.

Bought to you by the sweet taste of the green princess.

Day 7 Tent City and Daranak Falls

The boy's day continued from day 6, as they finished packing the shipping container for Tacloban, finishing just before 2am. Trying not to fall asleep, the lads stopped at Yellow Cab Pizza Parlour, which was amazingly pizzalicious. The boys got into bed feeling all white with the job done at about 3:30am. Four hours later breakfast was served, then once we were all prepared for the day with bathers, sunscreen, water and 'sanitizer" in our bag, we headed off to Tent City. It was an hour and a half drive on  a bus to a rural area outside of Manila. We had travelled to Tent City for a feeding program where we gave out food and made swords and dogs out of balloons for the children.
Seeing how the people had so little and then having it all taken away from them in a typhoon in 2009 was really shocking. The excitement and joy of the children, even though they have s little makes us feel selfish, but eager and urged to help. The people living in Tent City struggle so much because they live so far from Manila, so supplies and money is hard to gather, which shows us that the little bit of work that we are doing is so making a difference to the people.
We then jumped back on the bus and headed to Daranak Falls. The lush, green foliage and the rushing of litres and litres and litres of water gave a tranquil and exhilarating feeling, which led to a few hours that we will never forget.Jumping off rock ledges, which were up to about 4 metre high, into a fresh water pool, about 30 feet deep was an adrenaline rush and thrill seeking. A few of us even managed to climb up under a mini waterfall off to the side and was where we got an awesome group photo. Some of us were disappointed we were not able to jump of the big 10-12 metre high waterfall. We even met and young Aussie called Sarah who had been a student at Rehoboth, and is now working with an orphanage near the falls, also called Rehoboth. Then we had a rock stacking competition to compete for an ice cream, which the Red team won. The stacks were then destroyed by each person being given three shot to hit them with a golf ball size rock, from a distance away.



We returned to the Ministry Centre and after a killer dinner, we headed to the Children's home, where the blue team performed a skit on Noah's Ark. While running around outside with the kids, Isaak face-planted it twice and the rest of us worked up a sweet trying to keep up with the kids.

The evening activity was to got to the local shopping centre called "TayTay" where the teachers gave us 100 pesos ($2.50 AUS) each to buy a snack for the movies. We watched Catching Fire, after which we headed home and collapsed into bed.

Day Six: Working 9 to 5

Again today we went on feeding programs and deconstructing the scaffolding for the extension to the children's home.
The first feeding the team went to Angon, a little village which has been flood affected earlier this year. Due to the devastation, the community had been relocated to a shabby undercover basketball court, which has only recently has walls installed. The people are living in cubicles barely the size of a bathroom. Talking to some of the people in the community, it was amazing to see their faith has not been shaken by the tragedy, but refined. The community expressed their continuing appreciation of the work done by K.I.M. to offer weekly feedings. Along with the feeding, a nurse attended the feeding and set up a first aid station where the kids in the community and the elderly were able to receive treatment for minor injuries and illness, as they are at higher risk of infection and diseases due to the contaminated water and the basic living conditions.
In the afternoon the team went to a nearby by impoverished community, which was situated right next to extravagant housing. It was mind blowing to see the the comparison between the wealth and poverty. Whilst some of the team made balloon animals, a number of the boys played street ball with some of the local men and boys. The kids were intense in their excitement to grab the balloon and pipe cleaners. Despite being a simple item to us, the kids really value the balloon animal or pipe cleaner shapes and try to get more than one.
The deconstruction of the scaffolding is almost finished with much celebration over the falling of a beam that a number of members of the team had worked on for a collective 3 hours. Ruth, Emily and Elise finally got a chance to push out the boys, climbing up the scaffolding to put down the plywood supporting the concrete pour, at times upstaging the boys with their mad skills. We have been told that many of the nails and wood will be reused and transported to Tacloban to build housing for those left homeless in the recent typhoon. We created a production line to take the wood from the pile the waiting truck. The only significant injuries sustain have been a nail to Mr Price's head, a large scratch on Miss Smoker's leg and one of Mr Ryall's arm. They are setting a great example of what not to in building.
Every night we have been doing a devotion at either the children's home or the JAZ home. Tonight at the children's home, Josh, Luke, Yande, Ruth and Eva did a skit of the story of David and Goliath. Luke played part of Goliath and they chose one of the young children to play David. When it came to the part of the David throwing the stone, the child was given a ball in a sock and threw it at Luke, hitting him right in the head, just as in the story. This was met by cheers and whopping by the audience, with Luke falling down dead.
A last minute request from Jeff Long saw the evening turn into a girl's and guy's night. The guys were asked to unload a truck filled with supplies heading to Tacloban into a sea container on the dock. Meanwhile the girls took some time for a little pampering, having a manicure and pedicure at the J Spa, set up by Josie Long who has trained a number of women from the local community in beauty therapy. The girls all enjoyed the time to relax and had girly chats. After the pampering was complete, the girls went upstairs to fill some gift bag for the JAZ home girls which we will give to them in the coming week.
Although we have only been here a few days, many of the team have fallen in love with the Philippines and in particular the people who are always smiling and cheerful.
Written by the recently pampered girls!!!

Hey Mum and Dad, just letting you both know that I am alive and not incapacitated. The whole trip has been so amazing and I can''t believe that it is already half way. Love you both. -  Emily.

Hi Mum and Dad, Mandy here! We are all well and alive, and thanks so much for your all your prayers along with those at church - we need 'em! Miss you, but love staying here too! xoxo A.J.

Hi to all the Teachers at Rehoboth, thought of you today at lunchtime, knowing that I would be missing mid-week munchies. Thanks to all for your prayers and support, can't wait to get back and share all of the stories. The money we raised from the chocolates has gone to feeding parcels for the people of Tacloban- Marilyn

Bought to you buy WorkSafe. Anything Goes.